Beer stains wash out.

You don't have to wine and dine beer.

Your beer will always wait patiently for you while you play a sport.

When your beer goes flat, you toss it.

Beer is never late.

Hangovers go away.

A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

Beer labels come off without a fight.

When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer.

Beer never has a headache.

After you've had a beer the bottle is still worth a dime.

A beer doesn't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.

If you pour a beer right, you always get good head.

You can have more than one beer in a night, and not feel guilty.

A beer always goes down easy.

You can share a beer with your friends.

You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

A beer is always wet.

You can have a beer in public.

A frigid beer is a good beer.

You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

The only time a beer talks back is when you burp.

A beer is never late.

Your beer will wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.

Beers don't get yeast infections.

You'll always get head from a beer.

You can always pick up a beer in a bar.

You can have a beer just about anywhere, anytime.

A beer doesn't care when you come.

A beer doesn't make you take out the garbage.

A beer doesn't nag.

A beer saves a trip to the free clinic.

A beer doesn't play mind games.

You can dump a beer, but it'll never dump you.

Beers don't use your credit cards.

When you need it real bad, you can get a beer for under $1.

Beer doesn't demand equality.